I recently had a one-on-one with a team member, and after I opened with the typical, “how are you?,” they responded sharply with, “why are you asking?” It was clear there was more happening beneath the surface. They opened up about stress at work and meeting expectations, but also what they’re dealing with in their personal lives. I left the conversation feeling unprepared and not confident that I had helped them.
This conversation wasn’t an isolated incident. I’ve had multiple one-on-ones over the past couple of months to check in on team members, and almost everyone has shared something that’s stressing them out – workload, loss, illness, growing violence at home and abroad, political pushback on their work or AI threats to their job. People are carrying a lot right now, both professionally and personally, and many of them are exhausted, angry, grieving, battling, hanging on or burning out.
Burnout is often described as the slow decline of normal functioning due to chronic stress. People may not be fully burned out, but many are stretched thin and stressed out. I often think about what some call “quiet cracking” – that feeling of holding it together externally while feeling depleted internally, and the cracks usually start to show no matter how hard you try to conceal it.
And the question I ask myself as a leader on the team is, what can I do about it? How can I help alleviate the burdens that people are carrying into work every day? How can I bring more positive energy to my team and the workplace?
Fortunately, I know someone who can answer those questions. Daisy Auger-Domínguez. Her new book, “Burnt Out to Lit Up: How to Reignite the Joy of Leading People,” has been tremendously helpful for me. As a middle manager, I’m using it to support my colleagues in navigating the increasingly turbulent waters of our economy and society.
I love this quote from Daisy:
I have found that the most difficult and rewarding challenge of this work is to seek light amidst the darkness, discover strength from depletion, and seek alignment and ease when the systems and people around us seem determined to break us.
Daisy Auger-Domínguez
This is what people are looking for right now: “light,” “strength,” and “ease.” But it’s extremely difficult to both provide it and manifest it, day in and day out. In short, we as leaders need to reflect the type of leadership we want to see in the world. For me, this comes down to the five Cs: connection, communication, clarity, consistency and compassion.
Here’s how you can give those five gifts to your team and yourself:
- Connection: Strong leadership is relational, not just transactional. This shows our colleagues that they matter more than the work, helps build trust and rapport, and gives us energy for the work ahead.
- Communication: People want to know their voice matters. That requires curiosity, open-ended questions and being fully present. And it’s not just about the words we speak. It’s also about our body language and tone, which people read more.
- Clarity: Uncertainty is all around us. Leaders can counter it by being clear and direct. Following up conversations with an email that clarifies decisions and next steps helps eliminate ambiguity and ensure alignment.
- Consistency: Teams need to know what to expect, especially from their manager. If we are unpredictable as leaders, it forces our team members to expend energy constantly gauging our temperature. Steady leadership reduces anxiety and increases dependability.
- Compassion: People are dealing with more than we can see. Sometimes they fall short or feel overwhelmed. Offering support instead of adding pressure can be transformative. A simple “I believe in you” and “I’m here for you” can restore hope and remind our team we’re here to support them.
As managers, we need to take the pressure off our staff. Are you adding or reducing stress in their lives? It’s important to ask, “how much of this is a need for them to perform and succeed so that I’ll look good and be complimented and rewarded?”
In order to do that, it’s vital you take that pressure off yourself first. As Daisy says, “[m]anagers need time, resources and supports to prioritize their own self-awareness and well-being first, enabling them to do the same for others (and us!)” Hopefully your organization gives you that opportunity, but if not, you need to give it to yourself.
For me, that means three daily practices: writing, running and listening. Journaling helps me process my thoughts and emotions before they spill into my leadership. Running helps me release stress and recenter myself. Podcasts and audiobooks help me learn and grow as a person and manager. When I invest in these habits, I show up more consistently, compassionately and effectively as a leader. That’s the type of leadership we need right now. As Daisy encourages us, “leading before the moment demands it.” And this moment certainly demands it.
What works for you? It’s extremely important that we as managers answer that question. Because if we take care of ourselves, our team has a better shot at avoiding burnout altogether. I encourage you to pick one of the five Cs and focus on getting better at it. And if you miss a day, that’s OK, just come back to it. These are the management muscles we need to build if we’re going to have the strength to lead ourselves and our teams through the storm whenever it arises.